April Fools!
by shikamaru roxs my soxs
Summary: Mello and Matt have and idea for April Fool's Day. Near is the victim. Chaos? Yes. Pr0n? Possibly. One-Shot.


Apartment, Downtown London Slums, 2005, 12:00 Noon, April First

A blonde and a redhead sat side by side on a rusty old couch, reviewing Kira case files on matching red and black laptops. Well, one was reviewing files; the other had nonchalantly slipped his PSP from his pocket and was absorbed in beating the latest boss in his new game. The blonde looked up, a flash of remembrance flickered in his blue-green eyes. "Matt… it's the First of April..."

The redhead paused his game to look at his friend weirdly. "Dur.. It's April Fool's Day. So?" Matt paused. "We can't play tricks on Near like we used to..."

Mello grinned. "I beg to differ. I just thought up something we can do to the prick." Mello paused, before leaning over to whisper his evil plans into Matt's ear, and with each passing word, the redhead's smirk grew.

* * *

After an hour of relentless hacking, Matt stood from his computer, stretching and calling over to Mello, "I'm in!" Mello let out a cat-like yawn as he sauntered into the room.

"That fast? Near must be going soft on us, Matt."

"Naw, he's just helpless because I haven't been around to update his security." Matt grinned lopsidedly with his goggles pushed up into his hair. "But, let's get started on our plan. He's going to so hate us."

"That he is, Matt." Mello barked a short triumphant laugh and furiously began to put his plan into action.

* * *

Whammy's House, England, 5:00 PM , April First

Near had steadily been stacking his tarot cards all day, mind focusing on the Kira case, but as the day bore on Near steadily began to wonder if Mello would be attempting anything, even though the blond had left the orphanage. Near's laptop beeped to life on the side table, proclaiming in the wonderfully robotic voice, "You Have Mail!" '_Speak of the devil, that was probably Mello now…'_ Near shifted his body until he could easily read the screen of the laptop, and clicked the new message icon. '_**One new message from **_' '_Figures… Way to be subtle, guys...'_ Near clicked the message.

_**N,**_

_**Hope you enjoy our little present. Matt worked so hard on it… Too bad we can't be there to see the look on your face… **__(Near could feel Mello's smirk. 'What have you done, Mello?' The font _

_changed colors, from black to a deep red, and Near assumed that was because Matt had taken over the keyboard.)_

_Actually, we can see you. I hacked into your webcam… ;P It did take me a while, but you might want to check your files… The security was old and I still remember the old password to get into every inch of your server. Have fun! __(Near knew why his security was lacking; No one at Whammy's knew more about computers than Matt. The text returned to black as control went back to Mello) _

_**Think of this as a parting gift Near, but if you need to talk, you know Matt's phone number. And, I will be number one. Just you wait. If you want your files back, you know where to turn. **__ (Near knew why it was only Matt's number mentioned. It was for security's sake, much like L working through Watari. There was still Mello's obsession with being the top dog too; that would get him killed one day…)_

_**M**__&__M_

If Near was a lesser person, he would of swore right about now. Matt hacking anyone's files was not good, but put that skill with Mello's deep need to maim Near meant that Near was not coming out of this unscathed.

He tentatively clicked the first file icon on his desktop, Kira #381. The file opened in a new window, and in that new window stood a busty, blonde, adolescent in a leather bunny suit, complete with a wink, a winning smile, a pair of furry ears, and a fluff ball tail. Near shivered. He wasn't ready to see the extent of damage Matt had done to his files, but he needed to know, the curiosity was burning him. The next image that came in the next file off Near's desktop was of a slender redhead in a black and white striped bikini laying on the beach, grinning and blushing up at him.

* * *

After going every file meticulously (Matt had not missed a single file, and overall the ordeal had left Near with a nosebleed and a slight faint feeling from loss of blood), Near decided enough was enough. Even the pictures had been chosen to taunt him; they were of specifically of blonds in leather and redheads in stripes.

This meant war.

* * *

Well, that was fun… EDIT: Changed the year, added the lines in.. stupid FFnet, deleting my lines...


End file.
